Iyanla Vanzant is the founder and executive director of Inner Visions International and the Inner Visions Institute for Spiritual Development. She is the author of 13 titles—including five New York Times bestsellers—and the Inner Visions CD Series. Peace from Broken Pieces: How to Get Through What You’re Going Through has been published by SmileyBooks and available here. Iyanla is a Spiritual Technician. She is a Master Teacher. She is a woman of passion, clear vision and purpose, with a wicked sense of humor. Ordinary? Maybe. We think Dr. Maya Angelou's description is much more appropriate. Iyanla is, by many accounts, a Phenomenal Woman!
I will know peace when . . .
I examine what I feel beneath
what I am feeling.
It can be frightening to experience and express anger. Even more frightening is the hurt that caused the anger in the first place. When you get hurt, you get angry. You believe that the anger is directed outward, toward the person who hurt you. The truth is, anger as a response to hurt is always directed inward. You are angry that you loved too much. Cared too much. Because it is hard to admit these things to yourself, about yourself, you point the finger out there, at them! The challenge is to recognize that it is much easier to be angry than to say to someone, "You hurt me." When you are angry, you are in control. Control is what you believe you must have to avoid being hurt.
Being hurt is a sign that there is something in you which requires your attention. Being hurt is a sign that you have been engaging in a pattern of behavior that no longer serves who you are. When you get hurt, it means that you have a tender spot about which you have been denying or resisting the need to address. Along comes some unsuspecting soul, doing what they do, in the way they do it, and they stick their finger in the tender spot.
It makes you angry that you didn't see it coming. You are angry because you believe you should have known better. You need to stop being angry long enough to examine your own heart and mind.
Until today, you may have believed that someone you trusted, loved or both has done something to make you angry. Just for today, lay your anger aside. Look beneath the anger to find the hurt that you have buried to avoid dealing with it.
Today, I am digging up old hurts and putting them to rest!
From Until Today!
by Iyanla Vanzant