Iyanla Vanzant is the founder and executive director of Inner Visions International and the Inner Visions Institute for Spiritual Development. She is the author of 13 titles—including five New York Times bestsellers—and the Inner Visions CD Series. Peace from Broken Pieces: How to Get Through What You’re Going Through has been published by SmileyBooks and available here. Iyanla is a Spiritual Technician. She is a Master Teacher. She is a woman of passion, clear vision and purpose, with a wicked sense of humor. Ordinary? Maybe. We think Dr. Maya Angelou's description is much more appropriate. Iyanla is, by many accounts, a Phenomenal Woman! I will know peace when . . .
I stop stewing in anger.
Have you ever been so angry with someone that you shut down on them? This means, not only do you stop speaking to them, you refuse to acknowledge them by thinking about them or speaking their name. After a while, trying to convince yourself and the other person that you intend to be angry with them forever can become very tiring.
When you become so angry with a person that you want to shut them out of your life, you need to know that there is something going on with you that has nothing to do withthem. At this level anger is a response to your own judgements; the failed satisfaction of your own expectations; your failed attempts to gain control or, your subconscious response to fear.
Rarely is it just one thing that creates anger in a relationship. It is usually the flavor of everything that has been going on. You too have seasoned the pot! If you added too much of this or, not enough of that, the final product is going to leave a bad taste in your mouth! If you want to establish and maintain peaceful relationships with other people, surrender all judgments of who they are and who they are not. If you want your relationships with other people to be healthy and fulfilling, surrender your expectations and set clear boundaries. When you let people know what you need and want, they can decide if they want to be involved. If it is your intention to establish and maintain loving relationships with other people, you absolutely must surrender the need to be in control.
Until today you may have thought that you were justified in your anger toward another person. Just for today, open the doors of your heart. Take a look at what happened so that you can walk away with valuable information.
Today, I am devoted to taking the heat off of an angry situation!
From Until Today!
by Iyanla Vanzant
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